AmsterDAMMMMM!!!

** Previously published 28 June 2016

If you’ve been to Amsterdam you’ll know it’s a stunning city, full of old world charm & the people are so friendly and helpful. As expected its full of beautiful canals & bridges and has more bikes than I could have ever imagined. Everything about this city is quirky and fun, the rows of gorgeous crooked houses, local markets popped up here and there selling everything from strawberries to shoes, you can buy hot croquettes from a vending machine in the wall and there’s a shop wholly dedicated to cheese on every other corner! We only allowed 2 full days here so once again needed to cram lots in in a short amount of time so again we used the Hop on, hop off bus to get around. The pass here also includes the canal boats which is a fantastic way to see the city from a different perspective. We saw Anne Frank’ house & the Van Gough museum. We did the Heineken factory experience which was lots of fun (especially the tastings!) and the interactive parts even kept the kids entertained. The highlight though was hiring bikes and cycling around the city and through the beautiful Vondelpark. 

I had always known that marijuana was legal in the Netherlands and that they were a nation very comfortable in their own skin so to speak, however I was naive enough to think that if we avoided certain areas we would not see any of that. 

We’d caught up with some friends in Paris who’d just come from Amsterdam. Their teenagers educated mine on all the “naughty highlights” the city had to offer so they were well aware of what to expect and arrived with their eyes peeled. 

What I did learn is that teenagers may not be able to see their whole wardrobe on the hotel room floor but they can spot a bong in a shop window a mile away! There, just between a cheese shop and a H&M was a smoking paraphernalia shop that doesn’t attempt to be even remotely subtle. A big leaf with a smiley face painted on the window, the display full of rows and rows of glass wear, cookies, lollipops, jars and pots in every size full of “herbs” in every flavor. All so very normal! 

I also learned that there is a huge difference between a cafe and a coffee shop in Amsterdam. We’d found a great looking place for breakfast right in the centre square. The menu looked good, something that appealed to each of us, it was reasonably priced and it was busy, it ticked all the boxes we look for however when we asked for a table we were very quickly told by a burly bouncer “no kids allowed” – weird, it’s a cafe, we just wanted a bagel and a coffee but ok… We just found another place, ate our meal and thought nothing more of it. That night we were to meet friends for a drink at a pre arranged pub. As we were leaving the hotel it occurred to us that perhaps the kids might not be allowed in so we asked the concierge to call for us to check. They assured us no call was necessary, kids are allowed in pubs and it would be fine so we told him what happened that very morning. He laughed and explained that a cafe serves only food, a coffee shop serves food and happy tobbaccy, Who Knew?

Only after this did I really pay attention and every time we walked past a ‘coffee shop’ I’d get a whiff & take a look and there out the front would be people sitting and laughing with friends, drinking coffee and of course rolling or smoking big fat joints. 

Then there are the sex shops, again just scattered here and there amongst the usual stores and in some areas just wholly dedicated to them. Sure the kids have driven past a Sexy Land at home a few times but they’re much more discreet so there’s nothing much to see in the windows but as you can imagine nothing is discreet in Amsterdam! Windows full of leather, lace, latex & rubber. Every contraption ever known to man and quite a few contraptions I’m picking, maybe naively, that 75% of man has no idea about. 

So there I was, listening to them giggle and watching them point and deflecting questions from curious teens while they counted red lights over front doors and I had Roxanne playing on repeat in my head! 

All in all I wouldn’t hesitate returning to or recommending Amsterdam. It was much better value for money than London & Paris, food and drink almost half the price. It’s so relaxed and the people are really considerate, it’s busy like those other cities but somehow cars, bikes, buses, trams and pedestrians all work together to make it seamless, I’m not sure if this is due to their love of cheese, choof & cheeky nocturnal past times but whatever it is it works! 

Until we meet again Amsterdam, dank je en tot ziens. (Thank you and goodbye)